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Any woman who's used any kind of dating app has been confronted with this most bemusing question, posed by what we can only imagine are men who have had wood for so dangerously long they've begun to experience brain death. The idea of a quick-and-dirty “Who wants to help me achieve orgasm?

I'm talking about messaging exchanges that go something like this: We know you're eager, but nobody can get away with a “How 'bout a blowjob? " request may seem like a good idea when you're alone at 2 a.m.

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It’s not even in the heat of sexting, it’s almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book.

Here’s what NOT to do: If you must send a picture, keep it from the waist up unless specifically asked.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all at least attempted to do a little sexting.

No matter if you were trying to spice up an existing relationship, starting a new one, or just being a creepy dude who tries to get pictures of girls for his own private collection, you’ve done it.

Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she really going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, revealed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? ” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will change her mind.

If you’re thinking about this approach save yourself some time and toss your phone into the nearest natural body of water because you are insane.

I know I can give you what you need: Cheap Phone Sex Numbers performed to the highest standards by a bunch of highly sexual men and women who can’t wait to spend some quality time with you. We’ve been running this line for years and our callers just love it. There is no one else out there who can give you what you want, at a price that is really affordable. We have hundreds of hot women on the line, live and horny, waiting for YOU! in case you don’t think you are ready yet to talk to a chick with a dick, why don’t you explore this fantasy with one of our ladies.

My price for phone sex is only 25 cents a minute and there is no connection Fee! (It’s actually one of my favorites and I love pretending that I have something big inside my pants waiting for my more timid callers).

He said he'd joined determined to overcome his intimacy fears but hadn't been moved by any of the women he'd met. I want to hear your voice."He called me that night, and was even smarter and funnier on the phone.

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