People play games dating late dating of the gospels
Psychological games are often rewarding to one party and harmful to the other, creating exhausting and messy dynamics in every kind of relationship.
Sometimes we are so deeply ingrained in the cat-and-mouse games that define our relationships that we aren’t even aware of what is happening. And how can you identify whether you are instigating the games, or serving as the prey of them?
The two of them had hit it off famously and the relationship was going extremely well.
What do people get out of playing games in relationships? Whether the incentives to play games involve gaining security, gaining control or gaining self-esteem and self-justification, psychological theatrics are always ways of fulfilling an (often) unconscious goal.
It’s also important to note that playing games in relationships involves two people, not just one person “victimizing the other.” As they say: it takes two to tango, and games are the result of enabling behaviors just as much as manipulative behaviors.
Excellent, I say to her, and encourage her to express her feelings to this man. All of those things, and more, could be true, but you can’t live your life based upon “What ifs.” You need to live based upon your needs, your feelings, and your own desires for your future. So why would he act like he feels virtually nothing for her?
I mean, it’s been two months, the relationship is going swimmingly, and she seems ready to move it to the next level. Like so many people in a new relationship, she’s afraid of all the possible things that could go wrong. What if he’s hiding this weird, deep, dark secret about his life? What if he moves away for his job in a year’s time (an actual possibility)? It’s the question that keeps so many of us from pursuing our hearts and our feelings. Like most good friends, I love my friend dearly and would do anything to not see her hurt. She honestly believes — and she’s a very level-headed, rational and logical person — that this guy has more than just a passing feeling for her. The game play theory suggests he’s doing it for the same reason she framed her question as an awkward hypothetical — he’s trying to protect his own heart and feelings, having come off of a bad relationship that was uncomfortably one-sided (hers).
” In some instances, such a course of action may be the best way to go. They’re both mature adults, it’s been two months, so you’d think it would be a simple matter of saying, Well, I think I’m falling for you, and he would say in return, Well, I think I’m falling for you too. She says, “So what if someone were to tell you that they were falling for you…? Do we honestly think we’re saving them from some possible future hurt by withholding such an honest discussion immediately, when the opportunity naturally presents itself?
But she knows better based upon past experiences and perhaps a little something in the back of her head which encourages to play it more indirectly. I don’t have the answers, but I find such questions intriguing because we’re so often concerned with our own self-protection, we may end up sabotaging the real potential of the relationship and feelings in front of us.
All of us at one point or another in our lives play psychological games.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, whether at home, at work, among strangers, or among friends, we have all engaged in games that are sometimes beneficial and useful, and other times detrimental to our health and the well-being of others.
Her favorite show had already started so she thought about taking a short pick until the food was boiling....Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating