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” Of course, being white, I didn’t understand why reading something like that might make a person of color feel marginalized. The other day I received an email from a woman inquiring about the racial diversity of our speeddating events.She mentioned the photo that accompanied the event page and asked if guests were open to dating people of various races.

The online dating world promotes an ideology that there are thousands and thousands of people out there for you- which is going to have a huge impact on your psychology.

Ideals begin to circulate around short-term dating, and people take comfort in knowing there’ll be another potential mate at the swipe of a finger.

It's behavior experienced by many minority groups online, whether it's transgender women, black women or lesbians. The messages often zero in on the most hackneyed and offensive stereotypes about Asian women, from their assumed docility or sweetness to the ironic assumption that they're also better in bed.

Asian women are a particularly notable example, and it has name: "yellow fever."Now more than ever, as online dating grows, there need to be more safe spaces that tamp down the "fever" — and empower women to have the kinds of interactions they want. "I've received my fair share of doozies, including questions about my personal hygiene because of my race," Cherlynn Low wrote for Mic, as well as "questions about what I do in the bedroom or about my body parts."The worst of them were masterfully collected up in 2013 on a Tumblr called, simply, creepywhiteguys.

While there is nothing wrong with having a preference, I admit to being a bit put off when I read “Looking for skinny, Catholic, white…” at the very top of a profile.

As a result I go out of my way NOT to include specific preferences in my profile so I don’t come across as rigid.

However, I think that not having some specs might decrease the chances of hearing from the guys I want. PS: What I find funny is a lot of guys who writing about only wanting to hear from a specific ‘type’ will still contact me despite my not living up to some of their preferences. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I used to do this when I would post ads on Craigslist.

I just want to know what is your opinion regarding stating preferences in a profile. I will write them back if they are cute and the rest of the profile seems okay. “White guys only.” The ads would repeatedly get flagged and I was all, “Huh? White Catholic people don’t exactly have much experience with feeling oppressed.

The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.

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