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There is this guy in one of my classes…when I first met him I only thought he was funny, but now I'm really starting to like him a lot, and feeling very attracted to him. If, in fact, you are obsessing over “this guy,” the only way to stop obsessive thoughts is to replace them with something else. Instead, replace the obsessive thoughts with something else. Plan what you will think about when the obsessive thoughts begin. It starts when the nurse puts on that elastic band and it involves kittens and puppies and meadows and flowers and Bambi and Disneyworld. I’ve practiced that thought plan so many times in various phlebotomists’ chairs that now, any time I smell rubbing alcohol…Disneyworld! If you’re falling for “this guy,” you have to replace not just the thoughts about him with other thoughts; you have to replace him with other things. Bring something else bright and happy and meaningful into your life – otherwise, you might end up bringing “this guy” in instead. ) She says, “You cannot make yourself feel something that you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” This quote goes well with the Jewish philosophical stance that we are given the reward for intending to do a good deed, even if the performance of that deed was thwarted, but we are not punished for a bad deed we intended to do but was derailed. All the Torah expects of us is to do the right thing, despite our inner thoughts and desires.
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by Amy Krakovitz (Charlotte, NC) Here’s my guilt and my joy: my husband isn’t Jewish.
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