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The issues arise because not only do people bluster blindly through dating ignoring red flags and letting their libidos and imaginations make decisions for them, but we .Multiple dating makes dating messier even though the people that do it often think it makes it easier because it keeps them out of a relationship, let’s them check out lots of options at once instead of doing one person at a time, but it can also be a protective measure for ensuring that you don’t get close enough to anyone.But while most of our users are very comfortable communicating with multiple matches online, they sometimes get a bit more hesitant when emails turn into phone calls that start turning into dates, and they find themselves going for coffee with Mike on Tuesday, bowling with Bill on Thursday, and to a movie with Steve on Friday.

In fact a number of women have said to me that they’re afraid of wasting time, while at the same time feeling that time is running out, so they’re trying to effectively compact, for example, what would be a years worth of dating for another person, into a couple of months. It may feel like you’re auditioning them for what you feel is the big job of being ‘The One’ but you and they are people with feelings, libidos, imaginations, and love habits that may be counterproductive to you actually getting the relationship you want – adding several people to the mix just makes it messy.

But equally, keeping your options open is about being non-commital and this is the mainstay of being emotionally unavailable and creating limited experiences that keep you ‘safe’ in a self-fulfilling prophecy bubble. Feeling like you have choices may convince you that you have more choices than you have and trap you indecision!

Dating one woman can be challenging, so it goes without saying that dating several women at a time can pose many potential obstacles—the biggest being not making yourself look like a complete asshole.

Here's how to maintain your integrity, even if monogamy isn't in the cards, with our Gentleman's Guide to Dating Multiple Women.

Who said you have to go straight to a relationship? A couple of weeks ago I wrote about why dating is a discovery phase for fact finding.

I don’t want to get into a relationship too quickly?

Really multiple dating is just a code term for: 1) Keeping your options open.

2) Being afraid of commitment because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Some people keep their options open because they want to shag around, they think there’s plenty of fish in the sea, and they also worry that someone who perfectly meets their criteria may be out there somewhere and are afraid of ‘settling’.

Over the past few weeks in particular, I’ve had quite a few readers tell me that they’re dating multiple people, something I find exhausting just thinking about it, but at the same time rather fascinating because I find that people give me all sorts of reasons for they do it: I’m just experimenting with dating. Remember how you didn’t like it when Mr Unavailable had a narcissistic harem of women he was dipping in and out of for an ego stroke? It’s where you discover the facts that will help you determine whether you should green light, date some more and potentially move into a relationship, or whether you should red light and abort the mission.

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