singles dating in methuen website - Funny poems on dating

Maybe the same things that make for any funny writing! -juxtaposition -perspective -surprise -cumulative effect (a build through repetition) -exaggeration -understatement And add this one—which may be more noticeable in a poem, but is definitely present even in funny prose: sound.

Here are ten of the best funny poems at Tweetspeak Poetry, from Every Day Poems, and beyond. It would be awfully fun to see “smooch” pass throughout Twitter.

(This is how we get pickier as we age—pattern-recognition, the erosion of goodwill.) Might as well scare off the weak ones.

funny poems on dating-46funny poems on dating-31funny poems on dating-11

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. Impossible not to start saying it (smoochsmoochsmooch).

—William Shakespeare Love True, unbridled love Is looking at what I just did On the sidewalk Then picking it up in a bag I can only imagine as a treasured keepsake Wow, the collection you must have by now. —Maureen Doallas Her new sweater doesn’t smell of me I could pee on that She’s gone out for the day and left her laptop on the counter I could pee on that Her new boyfriend just pushed my head away I could pee on him She’s ignoring me ignoring her I could pee everywhere She’s making up for it by putting me on her lap I could pee on this I could pee on this — Francesco Marciuliano in I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats Living alone has got its effects— like for instance one goes without… In any case, take tonight in the bath, where dishes I did. Barkat When you set about to write your sonnet Leave off comparisons to a summer’s day Number 18 has a copyright on it; use it and some bardy will make you pay.

As a twofold pain in the ass, he’s asked to dinner less often. * “I don’t have a car but I live downtown” On a map downtown looks like a place one might live.

* “I sold my car and have been getting to know the city by bike” (vegan edition) The car was sold out of fiscal necessity, the meat renounced to lend said sale a look of deliberateness. Add “waiting for a cab” to any possible date scenario; consider that sum.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.

He spent years gaining the knack for the nick of time, the turn, the on-a-dime dick joke that beats them back. But keep that guard up— this tests agility, not strength. (Also, your contract: Some night you’ll be a monster.) “I gave up my car a year ago” It broke and for six months sat outside his old apartment, even after he moved.

* “I sold my car and have been getting to know the city by bike” (architect edition) It’s not that he’s classist—but desperation spoils the view.

He’ll wait until the second date to mention the DUI.

Tags: , ,