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Avoiders believe that they must rely on themselves alone to meet their own needs The buried traumas of the past let avoiders function pretty effectively in their daily lives, at least at the surface.
When our "singles" become "couples" the energy of two is much more powerful than one and they oftentimes continue on to do great work for the world together.
Some have opened up healing centers, written books, facilitated retreats and workshops etc..
Things that are irritating or large problems are internalized and stuffed away, versus being brought out. The emotions are released through one or many of the following non-exhaustive list of items: You could classify the avoider mentality as a large amount of defences rolled into one complex milieu of mechanisms to prevent any further trauma.
Transferring into relationships (should they occur), the avoider stays quiet about many hard to face issues.
While the age of the child plays a factor, if you’re not looking for anything serious, you shouldn’t play the “I’ll figure it out” game with a ready-made family.
Further, if you’re not a kid person or don’t want kids, you should not date a woman with kids to see if you’ll change your mind."My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend," says Diane* from New York City."His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch." Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, "A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies—not true.The insecurity and unknown burrows into your brain like a parasite, constantly clawing at you and never relenting. You look for advice but nobody understands exactly what you’re going through, and you feel like you are alone. You can’t think of anyone else, you can’t do anything else. You live on the periphery of relationships, seeing others only as a means to an end. It is not necessary that both are felt, or to the same degree, but one of the two is present.You hate the feelings of the unknown that cause the tightness in your chest, that choke your throat. The abandonments from the past hurt too much that you can’t sustain anything further. Avoiders believe that they can handle things themselves and shouldn’t rely on anyone else, especially in hard times when support is needed.While they're fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating