Dating depressed person

Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Sometimes it gets too much and we just come along to that big party/dinner with friends/lunch with your parents. We’re not being flaky, we just don’t feel like we can do it today. Please don’t endlessly question why we’re feeling so rubbish. We can feel great and think we’ve finally got through this one day, then find ourselves in a pretty dark place (in our minds. Medication can mess things up for a bit, as can, well, just being depressed. Each reason our life is brilliant feels like a little stab in our heart, asking: ‘why aren’t you happy? We feel awful about that, and we already feel like self-obsessed oversensitive arseholes for being miserable with our comparatively brilliant lives. And we don’t need anyone confirming our belief that we’re sh*tty people.If we say there’s no reason or we don’t know, we mean it. We don’t just need to turn on the light) at 2am the next night. It still feels like there’s a lot of stigma around mental illness and we’re scared of being judged. All easier said than done when your brain’s telling you to stay in bed in the dark and never, ever leave your room.

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profil tekst netdating - Dating depressed person

And it can get frustrating dating someone who just can’t seem to get their head around it or – worse – ‘doesn’t believe’ in being depressed (IT’S NOT A UNICORN, IT’S A MEDICALLY DEFINED ILLNESS). Don’t doubt us if sometimes we’re perfectly happy and able to get on with things, then can’t get out of bed the next day. But we’re still going to cry and hate ourselves for it. Listen to our entirely illogical explanation for why we’re upset and help us through it. Sometimes we won’t react the way we’re supposed to when you do something lovely or something amazing happens. You casually mentioning any negative opinions on anti-depressants doesn’t help. Missing out on a job can push us into a months-long depressive period. But that doesn’t mean we can’t handle the truth or rubbish things happening.

Don’t say you’re ‘depressed’ when you’re feeling sad. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. You don’t need to walk on eggshells or treat us like a delicate flower. Sometimes our down moments are prompted by something, sometimes they’re not. ’ Yes, we’re perfectly aware that there are people around the world without food and shelter.

I read a lot of questions from you guys about depressed significant others.

I wish I could individually respond to each of you, but until that time, here are 10 things you have to know about dating someone who is depressed. It's easy to take someone else's depression personally, especially if you're very close to that person. Depression isn't caused by one single thing or depression.

No matter how psychologically healthy – heck, perfect – you want to believe you are, there’s a little part of you that wants to be your partner’s hero in a relationship.

When he falls into a slump, you want to believe that you have the magic to pull him out of it and make him happy.

It can make you feel completely alone, and it can really change who you are.

When it came to my ex-boyfriend, I made a decision that some people don’t understand or that some people believe is wrong – I decided to put myself first; to end things and focus on me, and to not have him in my life anymore (his depression wasn’t the only factor here, by the way). A lot of people feel that their partner, depressed or not, is the person for them, and they want to make it work. Depression can be crippling, but depressed people need loved ones by their side.

Their false but strong belief that they have accomplished nothing or that they have little to live for can leave you feeling helpless, and confused as to how to respond.

These all-or-nothing, black-and-white thought patterns often illustrate depressed thinking.

If your date or your partner is depressed, you’ll see: sad mood; a negative or hopeless outlook for the future; eating too much or too little; crying out of the blue; loss of or low energy; sleeping too much or too little; indecisiveness; and social isolation or withdrawal.

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