Dating a older person

28 comments Dating someone from a foreign country can be an exciting experience, but it's important to keep in mind that a relationship with a person from another culture can be complex.Different cultures around the world have a different appreciation of the qualities that make someone a desirable mate.I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.

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German men have a reputation for being insensitive, self-serving and cold. By contrast, some German men are surprisingly sensitive, almost to the point of being insecure and unsure of themselves.

A man like this may even question a woman's motives if she approached him to chat.

I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl.

None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita.

The first older man I dated was, I’ll admit, absurdly older than me.

Neither of us knew the others exact age before our first date and I’m sure we didn’t intend to stay involved for as long as we did.

(It will never be exactly the same for two different people.) Assess Your Proclivity for Indulgences While many behaviors in the extreme form represent a problem or even an addiction, some of those same behaviors can be harmless if not taken to the extreme.

Consider a list of activities that fall on the hedonistic end of the behavioral spectrum: drinking alcohol, gambling, shopping, traveling, and spending, for example.

There is a tendency among German men to date women who are much younger than they are.

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